Competitions, Cam, and Chicken Nuggets

As a long-time fan of the Bachelor (and previous Paradise recapper), I’ve taken it upon myself to recap Hannah Brown’s season. So here it is: the Rose Recap of Season 15 episode 2.

Real quick housekeeping: I didn't recap the first episode because 1. I wasn't sure I was going to bring the blog back 2. I ran into some technical difficulties (R.I.P. Rose Ceremony Reviews) 3. The recap of the first episode would have been so long, it would have taken just as long to read as it did to watch the episode.

This episode starts off with the boys standing on the balcony of the Bachelor Mansion and shouting Hannah's name. Classic. From there, the first date card is given.

The first group date: "I’m looking for my Mr. Right"

• Grant

• Luke S.

• Mike

• Jed

• Jonathan

• John Paul Jones

• Dylan

• Luke P.

Peter says if Hannah really wants to find Mr. Right he should have been on the date and I agree, but that's none of my business.

The boys on this date are participating in the Mr. Right Pageant, including both a swimsuit and talent portion. The judges include Hannah, two drag queens, and Miss J Alexander, best known as the legendary runway coach from America's Next Top Model.

For the most part, the date is uneventful. The eight boys walk the length of the stage in their speedos, with varying degrees of awkwardness, and then participate in the talent portion, this time with varying degrees of talent: John Paul Jones taught himself how to ride a unicycle, Jed wrote an original song, and Luke P. said "I'm falling in love with you," which seems to be enough since Luke P. wins the title (and crown and sash) of Mr. Right.

During the night portion of the date, Luke P. talks to Hannah first and they discuss how he said that he was falling in love with her. Luke talks about how since Hannah keeps on asking the boys to be real wit her, he thought it would only be fair to tell her, which would be sweet, except they haven't even known each-other more than 48 hours. She is head over heels for Luke, and says that she's closing herself off from other relationships because she likes Luke so much. Despite Luke's best efforts, Jed gets the rose (maybe it had to do with the boots and speedo combo, idk).

The One on One: Tyler G.

Hannah goes to the Bachelor Mansion wearing a white on white on white on white outfit, and then points to a helicopter, which lands to the driveway to take Hannah and Tyler on their date. They ride four wheelers through the mud, which explains why Hannah wore all white I guess.

Hannah reminisces on her awkward one on one with Colton and talks about how she wishes that she could go back and tell herself to be her whole self, instead of being so worried about not being likable. The night portion of the date is pretty standard (and honestly a letdown after Colton's season, I mean, where's the trauma?), and Hannah gives Tyler G. the rose.

The Last Group Date: "Let's get our love on track"

• Devon

• Matteo

• Daron

• Connor J.

• Kevin

• Dustin

• Tyler C.

• Joey

• Peter

• Garrett

Three boys aren't on a date at all this week, but the only one who throws a fit about it is Cam, like sits by himself and plays harmonica type of fit.

The boys show up in their workout gear and I'm about as surprised as they are when they find out that they're participating in a roller derby. The boys split up in two teams, which doesn't seem to matter because 1. the rules are never explained to the audience 2. most of the derby is just the boys falling down and 3. both teams go to the cocktail party that follows.

While Hannah is talking to someone (maybe Matteo, maybe Garrett, I really can't remember who these guys are) Cam shows up with what looks to be an $8 bouquet of flowers. Hannah talks to him and Cam mentions his catchphrase: ABC, always be Cam, an obnoxious amount. If Hannah regrets giving him a rose at After the Final Rose, she makes no indication, but he leaves after their conversation.

Rather, he goes to the street where he is in the process of doing an In The Moment Interview, when Tyler shows up and talks to Cam about how disrespectful it was to show up to a group date when he wasn't invited. Most of the other boys on the date follow suit and one by one come outside to address how Cam showing up took time away from their time with Hannah. The group date ends before Hannah can talk to all of the guys, and she gives the rose to Dustin.

The Cocktail Party:

Hannah spends most of her time with, you guessed it, Luke P. He gives her a massage, she offers to do the same, and begins taking his shirt off. Sweet Jed walks in while this is happening and Hannah freaks out.

Cam sets out rose petals and candles in the shape of a heart, and invites Hannah and Kevin, the unlucky guy who was talking to Hannah when Cam approached, to come into the circle and eat some chicken nuggets that were definitely from McDonald's. Kevin doesn't have a great time, for obvious reasons and leaves. Not without taking a dew nuggets, which he throws at Cam later.

The Rose Ceremony:

Jed, Tyler G., and Dustin already have roses.

Hannah gives a rose to:

Tyler C.

Garrett

Kevin

Connor S,

Luke P.

Dylan

Luke S.

Mike

Peter

Kevin

Johnathan

Joey

Matteo

John Paul Jones

Grant

Cam

Meaning that we have to say goodbye to Connor J., Darron, and Matthew.

While the blog post normally ends here, Hannah's guys don't know when to stop. Cam makes a weird toast to "his future best friend Hannah Ayala," and then has to explain that's what his last name is. Unsurprisingly, no one toast to that.

Luke says goodnight and runs off to find Hannah in the middle of an interview, just to reassure her that his feelings are real and that he IS falling for her.

Tune in next week to see if Hannah finally figures out that Luke is no good and to see how many times Cam says his catchphrase.