Listen to Your...Recap?

As long-time fan of The Bachelor (and previous recaper), I’ve taken it upon myself to recap The Bachelor Presents: Listen to Your Heart, Episode 1.

I’ll be honest, Peter’s season of really burnt me out. I was unsure if I was going to watch The Bachelorette and certainly had no plans of watching Listen to Your Heart, but things are different now than they were at the beginning of March.

From what I can tell from this episode Listen to Your Heart is like Bachelor Winter Games, except we don’t know or care about these people; being emotionally distant while watching this hot mess express isn’t the best combination but we’re working with what we’ve got folks. There are some intros, but I kinda forgot that musicians have strong chaotic energy and seeing so many of them at once was kind of overwhelming. So if you want more in depth ideas about who these people are, the cast bios are on ABC’s website.

As someone who historically does not like night one here’s a brief synopsis:

Jamie starts flirting with Ryan just for her to move on to Trevor. Rudi and Matt hangout in the hot tub and don’t kiss so I’m not sure it counts as a hot tub date. Michael is weird and unsettling. Julia is the hottest commodity which I don’t exactly understand but I’ll support it. There’s a couple of Texas boys but only one cowboy hat. There’s more singing than I want, but not as much singing as the promos made it seem like there would be.

Chris Harrison explains the rules and the main takeaway is that four boys are going home this week and the next day the dates begin.

Ryan: Choose someone who makes your heart sing

Of course, he chooses Jamie and I’m not sure that he knows that she has a thing with Trevor, but it’s fine because they go to Capital Records to record a cover of Gravity, which is an interesting song choice because it’s a breakup song, right? It’s obvious that Ryan is a big John Mayer fanboy which is a person red flag for me but maybe musicians are a red flag for me, but so is being a singer, so maybe this show isn’t one that I’ll be imagining myself participating in.

Matt: Choose a woman that could be your jam

Back at the house, Rudi decides that she’s into Matt just in time for him to get a date card. She talks to him about it and Matt decides to take Mel on the date anyways. The date ends up being a Plain White T’s backyard concert, and they’re singing a song that’s not Hey There Delilah and I guess this whole show is going to be Bachelor production having vaguely off song choices.

All that happens at the house during the dates is a lot of coupling up and crying; just typical Bachelor things. The Cocktail Party starts with Chris giving his signature ominous toast, and the drama really starts.

Julia has at this point in the episode been with three boys, and Sheridan comes and interrupts her with a song that he wrote and I know he’s a very basic choice for favorite but he gives me Hozier vibes so sue! me!

Matt comes back to Rudi because he didn’t have a strong connection on his date and Rudi gets mad at him for some miscommunication, which she had every right to be mad about but she wasn't tactful so it wasn’t a productive conversation and I don’t think anyone comes away from it a better person.

Even though Ryan and Jamie had a good date, Trevor tries to get with her by singing another John Mayer song and he truly embodies all of the bad vibes I get from John Mayer fanboys and I’ll scream it from the rooftops: Ryan deserves better than to be in this love triangle.

Chris Harrison comes in, tells the ladies to listen to their heart, and the Rose Ceremony begins.

• Savannah gives her rose to Brandon

• Mel gives her rose to Gabe

• Bekah gives her rose to Danny

• Bri gives her rose to Chris

• Cheyanne gives her rose to Matt

• Julia gives her rose to Sheridan

• Jamie gives her rose to Trevor

• Rudi gives her rose to Ryan

We say our goodbyes to four men, and even though I take notes while I’m watching these episodes, I don’t know anyone’s name besides Michael, so it makes sense that they’re going home.

Tune in next episode (and maybe tell me when the next episode is because I don't have any idea) or just check back here next week so that you don't have to waste two hours of your Monday.

Xoxo,

Cyber Claire