Prepare for Clare

As long-time fan of The Bachelorette (and previous recaper), I’ve taken it upon myself to recap Clare Crawley's season. So here it is: my Rose Recap of Season 16 Episode 1.

In case you have hobbies other than being the Bachelor historian of your friend group, let me catch you up: Clare first appeared on our screens in 2014 during Juan Pablo's season where she wore a lot of jewel tones and ended up being the runner up. She then made two appearances on Paradise, which I know basically nothing about-which probably means that she was unlucky in love again. The intro package doesn't address Clare's time on Bachelor Winter Games which is a shame because during Winter Games I went from not knowing who Clare was to two weeks and four episodes later watching her get engaged to Benoit.

In her life outside The Bachelor, Clare is a 39 year old hair stylist from North California. And she's an absolute babe. I wish I could pinpoint why I like her so bad but just know I'm rooting for her so! much!

The beginning of the episode spends a fair amount of time talking about the pandemic and how it affected this season. Which is understandable but definitely felt more like a dystopia instead of the escapism I was expecting. But not nearly as dystopian than the nonstop political ads that run on ABC coming to a complete halt for the entirety of The Bachelorette.

In order for the show to happen safely, or as safely as it could, Clare and the guys quarantined for two weeks and took Covid tests to make sure that everyone was in the clear (or dare I say: in the clare).

Once everyone gets a clean bill of health, limo entrances can begin and listen, who has the emotional capability right now to care about this many people? I'm just doing my best to not let this whole blog be about every interaction between Clare and her final choice.

Some of iconic occupations of this season are: a male grooming specialist, a boy band manager, and whatever they guy in the straight jacket does.

My personal favorites are Eazy, Jordan C., and Joe. All of these guys would make a great cast of Paradise if they don't end up with Clare and if Paradise ever happens again. I respect Yosef for brining the Moon Pies but he's a little too suspect to get my stamp of approval just yet.

Dale steps out of the limo and Clare and says that he’s her husband and Chris Harrison has to tell Clare to cool her jets because she still has more guys to meet. And once she meets everyone she runs off to find Dale again.

Clare has a bunch of night one conversations that aren't really worth mentioning, and she lets the guys meet one of her dogs. There's some Right Reasons Drama™ between Tyler and Yosef. One of the boys tattles to Clare and she grabs both of the boys so they can talk it out and eliminate some of the hearsay. Clare gets the clarity (clareity) she needs and leaves to talk to the other men while Yosef and Tyler continue to bicker.

Clare talks to Blake M., who messaged Clare during their quarantine period. She tells him that it was against the rules and she could have him kicked off the show but he was the only guy who messaged her during the quarantine and she appreciated the thought. She doesn't kick off Blake and gives him a little kiss.

Even so, Clare gives her First Impression Rose to Dale because how could she not?

The cocktail party ends and it feels like a pretty typical first episode because some of the guys are upset that they didn't get any time with Clare and by the time the Rose Ceremony begins, the sun is already shining on a new day.

Dale has the first impression rose and the remaining roses go to:

• Blake Moynes

• Eazy

• Ben

• Riley

• Zac J.

• Tyler S.

• Joe

• Jeremy

• Demar

• Jason

• Jordan C.

• Blake Monar

• Kenny

• Brandon

• Garin

• Ed

• Bennett

• Zac C.

• Jay

• Brendan

• Ivan

• Yosef

We say our goodbyes to:

• Tyler C

• Chris

• Page

• AJ

• Chasen

• Jordan M.

• Mike

• Robby

The episode ends with a season preview is wacky and wild and doesn't look like it's just full of tears but I'm holding out for a happy ending for Clare and for whatever happens in her aftermath.

xoxo,

Cyber Claire

@roserecaps