Welcome to the Jungle

As long-time fan of The Bachelor (and previous recaper), I’ve taken it upon myself to recap Peter Weber’s season. So here it is: my Rose Recap of Season 24 Episode 5.

Even though the better part of these last two episodes have focused on Alayah AND she has a rose for this week, Peter sends her home a half hour before the rose ceremony and immediately begins his apology tour.

At the start of the Rose Ceremony Peter says that his future wife is in the room, which I don't necessarily believe, but ok go off.

Kelsey and Victoria F. have roses

The remaining roses go to:

• Madison

• Sydney

• Natasha

• Lexi

• Hannah Ann

• Shiann

• Mykenna

• Victoria P

• Tammy

• Kelley

We take a moment and say our goodbyes to:

• Deandra

• Savannah

• Kiarra

As soon as the rose ceremony is over, they are off to Costa Rica, my dream destination and yet another reason that I'm kicking myself for not being on this season.

I though that this episode was going to be a whole extra hour for Peter's head injury, and while it was had me laughing harder than I have in months, it took maybe three whole minutes, including the dramatic reenactment and the security footage.

The First One on One-Sydney

As soon as Sydney and Peter fly off in their helicopter, Kelsey starts complaining, as if she didn’t have a one on one last week. Sydney and Peter could not care less as they fly over Costa Rica in a helicopter and are dropped of in the middle of a feild, where there isn't an activity planned, so they have no choice but to make out the whole date, especially after Peter tells Sydney that she's the best kisser.

During the night portion they talk about Sydney’s mixed race upbringing and how she was bullied (which doesn't seem to be true but whatever). Sydney gets the rose and instead of going to a concert or to see fireworks, they put on swimsuits and kiss some more.

"Let's capture our Luck today"-The Group Date

• Shiann

• Kelsey

• Victoria F

• Natasha

• Mykenna

• Tammy

• Hannah Ann

• Victoria P

• Lexi

For the second time this season, the girls have a modeling themed date, except this time instead of walking the runway for a chance to win an entire line for Revolve, they're modeling swimsuits and the winner get the be the cover of Cosmo Online. After Peter barely participated in this date, Victoria F. kisses Peter and she wins the competition. Since filming Cosmo has decided not to run the cover, almost as if talent should have determined the winner instead of just shock value because if we're being honest, Lexi and Natasha owned this shoot.

The night portion of the date kicks off with Kelsey telling Pete that she's falling in love with him and then immediately cuts to Tammy stirring the pot and telling Peter that Kelsey is an emotional mess and we take a break in the drama for Hannah Ann to get the group date rose and for Kelley to get her one on one.

The Second One on One-Kelley

This one on one starts off with Peter in flip flops which is a personal red flag for me, but soon enough they go hang with the town’s shaman, and when they’re asked to talk about themselves, instead of sharing their star charts, Peter tells the story of how they met.

Kelley doesn't seem into Peter at ll this date, but she does the Lord's work and calls him out for constantly rewarding the drama. And despite near constant foreshadowing that Kelley was going to be sent home, Peter gives Kelley the rose and they also decide to forgo an end of date concert or firework show in favor of changing into swimsuits to kiss some more.

Kelsey pulls a big move and goes to hang out with Peter before the rose ceremony. She talks about how she’s getting bullied or whatever and honestly I could NOT pay attention and when I finally tuned back in, Peter was giving Kelsey a rose.

Chris Harrison cancels the cocktail party and as the rose ceremony starts, Tammy steals Peter, then Mykenna interrupts them basically creating their own cocktail party.

By this rose ceremony, Peter is no longer saying that he can see his wife.

Kelsey, Kelley, Hannah Ann, and Sydney already have roses.

The remaining roses go to:

• Victoria F

• Maddison

• Natasha

• Victoria P

• Mykenna

• Tammy

We say our goodbyes to:

• Lexi

• Shiann

I'm blaming Peter's head wound for why he let Lexi go. The episode continues later this week, so tune in to ABC and to this blog to encounter even more unnecessary drama.

xoxo Cyber Claire