It's a MATTch!

Welcome back to another season of the Bachelor and another season of Rose Recaps. I’m never sure how to recap the first episode because if I’m not careful this will turn into a transcript of the episode instead of a recap, and I’m not planning on turning this into Rose Transcripts anytime soon.

We get introduced to Matt James, our first Black (and Sagittarius) Bachelor. In case you’re knicking around your brain trying to think about who Matt James is, he’s friends with Bachelor fan favorite Tyler Cameron and was subtweeted by Clare. And even as a huge Bachelor nut, that’s all I can tell you about the man. Before the episode really kicks off, he has a heavily produced conversation with Chris Harrison, and I'm telling you right now, this is going to be the most produced season yet.

The girls start their limo exits and I don’t like any of them. Some of them are definitely worse than others, but I’ve decided that I'm not going to address any of the cringe entrances because if I have to talk about it then they win. I will say that there's a bar visible from where the girls are congregating and to me, someone who doesn't drink and is clearly not an expert on inebriation, it seems like some of the girls were a little intoxicated, to the point where they weren't making good decisions.

There's some drama between Kit and Victoria and I'm not sure if this drama will last throughout the season or if after the girls have a chance to sleep, they'll actually be friends. Either way, I'm not a fan of Kit just because she's 21, and I don't trust anyone whose solution to not having found The One by the time you're in your early 20s is to try reality TV.

Towards the end of the night, when some girls still haven't talked to Matt and Victoria has pulled him aside more than once, someone complained about how they quarantined for Matt and I wish I knew who said it, because while I have limited sympathy for people complaining about quarantining for 14 whole days, I'm sure she'd be a good match for Matt.

At the end of the night, my personal favorites are Khaylah, who toasts with sweet tea in the bed of her truck, and Abigal who has a cochlear implant and gets the first impression rose.

Despite filming during a pandemic, there are 30+ girls, and Matt keeps just two dozen of them. Abigal is safe, because of the first impression rose. The remaining roses go to:

• Bri

• Rachael

• Chelsea

• Sarah

• MJ

• Serena P.

• Kyalah

• Kristin

• Kit

• Magi

• Pieper

• Carolyn

• Alana

• Jessenia

• Kaili

• Marylynn

• Serena C

• Lauren

• Sydney

• Illeana

• Katie

• Anna

• Victoria

We say our goodbyes to :

• Alicia

• Amber

• Casandra

• Corrine

• Emani

• Kimberly

• Mari

• Saneh

See you, hopefully far fewer girls (and maybe Tyler Cameron?) next Monday.

xoxo,

Cyber Claire